Where the Magic Happens

When I was pregnant with Luke we had our prenatal screening blood work come back showing an increased risk for Downs Syndrome. During the time between finding that out and getting a definitive answer Dan and I had a lot of conversations about how perhaps we are meant to have a child with special needs because we know we would love any child and be his or her #1 advocate. 

Luke was "fine." 2 years later…

Enter Jack.

There is obviously a wide range of what it means to have special needs. And while Jack's issues are fairly mild on a global level (diagnosis: Congenital Benign Hypotonia), any child who isn't walking yet at 21 months clearly has special needs. 

I have a child with special needs.

But today at PT something magical happened. I'm not even sure Jack's physical therapist (whom I've now known for over a year and consider a friend) knows how powerful this one sentence she uttered was. "It's gonna happen soon. He's just gonna take off across the room one of these days." I had to hold back my tears. I had been waiting… and hoping… and praying… to hear something like this for so long now. It is heartbreaking watching an almost-2 year old not be able to walk. He is a fast crawler and therefore still chases after his brother, but you can just tell he wants to really be in the middle of the action with other toddlers his age. 

Jack has basically been a full-time job for me since the day he was born. Obviously newborns require 24/7 assistance. Then the delays started happening when he was 6 months old, and ever since then it's been running him from one specialist and therapy to the next. The fact I decided before he was born to quit my teaching job and stay home with the boys is almost eerie. It was definitely a choice I never thought I'd make. I LOVED working. I defined myself by my job. But *thank God* I was home and could take care of Jack in a way that only a mother could. 

That being said it has NOT always been easy. I missed being a professional. I missed having adults to talk to. I missed getting dressed up and having a purpose to leave the house. It was well over a year of going a little stir crazy before I found something that, if you ask Dan, pulled me out of a funk and made me "me" again. I've got my own little side biz going and it's growing and becoming more successful than I ever dreamed possible. 

I was terrified at first to jump in. I never in a million years thought I'd end up in direct sales. I was - and truthfully still am - terrified of sales. But I found something for which I have a passion, so sharing information about my new favorite skin care seems no different than the way I'd share my favorite restaurant. It has forced me to step outside my comfort zone - and THAT is where the magic happens. I am learning new things, having a blast and contributing to my family's bottom line all while being there for Jack at a time when he needs me the most. (And Luke, too. But he's 3 and some days I want to sell him on eBay.)

Life really is all about taking risks in order to get great rewards. Parenthood is the ultimate gamble. It's the most risky roll of the dice out there. You literally just never know what you're gonna get. (And remember, what I got was a kiddo with mild but valid special needs). If I can be a parent, and specifically a parent to Jack, I can do ANYTHING. 

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"
- Robert Schuller