Friday the 13th

*This post is a little serious, a little humorous, but most of all it's just honest. Let me preface this whole thing by saying we have a beautiful, healthy baby boy, and I am recovering remarkably well.


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So I almost died a couple weeks ago.


Okay, so I was never in actual mortal danger. But it certainly felt that way as my blood pressure was dropping, and I literally had to will myself to "stay present" until I heard Jack cry and saw him. Finally my OB told Dan to stand up and look. I heard the cry. They held Jack over the drape. "He has black hair," I thought.


Dan claims the next thing I said was, "I don't feel well. I feel like I'm slipping away." Had I had enough strength to say it loud enough, I'm sure one of the 29 people in the OR would have heard me mumble, "Please knock me out now."


Yes, 29 people. The "joke" was that when Jack was born there were 30. You ever heard of a c-section like this? Didn't think so. Apparently this placenta accreta thing is rather serious.


"Her blood pressure is too low. Converting to general," I heard the head of Loyola's OB anesthesia department say. 


I remember looking up at the ceiling tiles in the OR while I was drifting away and begging God to please not let my boys grow up without a mother. Dan remembers seeing them stick the tube down my throat. I don't know about you, but I think I would rather do almost anything and be almost anywhere else but watching the love of my life be intubated. Apparently the mood changed in the OR from "lighthearted" to "serious." Dan tells the story that he was trying to wander back over to the table by me while the doctors were trying to redirect him back by the baby. "Over here, dad. Come look at your son." Not that Dan wasn't excited/worried about Jack, but I can appreciate how his focus was most likely on me. I was the scarier scenario of the two patients.


I came to some time later when I heard Dan's voice. The first thing I asked was, "How much did he weigh?" We had a bet about Jack's birth weight. Dan took the "over" of 9.5 lbs - I had the under. And although I am not a competitive person at all (like, almost to my detriment), apparently I needed to make damn sure I won this bet. For the record, I did.


I'm not even sure who told me, but someone mentioned that they did have to remove my uterus and right ovary. Just 'cuz I like the sound of it, I'll tell you the official procedural name for removing an ovary - oopherectomy. Fun to say, huh?


When I realized I wasn't still intubated I was thrilled. I had been told beforehand this was a possibility. However the other possibility was becoming a reality: I wouldn't get to hold my sweet baby for quite some time. Unfortunately I was headed to the ICU because I lost about 3 liters of blood and received a transfusion, and they anticipated having to transfuse me again.


There I stayed for almost 24 hours. Dan would go to the nursery to feed Jack and snuggle with him every few hours.  I'm glad they had this special time together; I'm glad Jack had one of his parents to get acquainted with right away. In-between feedings Dan would hang out with me. I'm a little foggy on the details, but I'm pretty sure his main duty was getting me ice chips. 


If you've ever spent a lot of time in a hospital you will be familiar with "hospital time." (Thanks to Sally's brother John for giving it this name.) Hospital time is when you have no idea if it's day or night, what day it is, or how time passes so quickly one minute and so slowly the next. I give you this definition because that night in ICU it was all of a sudden 3AM and neither Dan nor I had slept. This is either due to hospital time or the fact that Dan's options were sitting in a chair or laying on the floor. 


I'll tell you, you've never known true love until you see your spouse sleeping sitting upright in a chair because he doesn't want to leave your side.


Finally around noon the next day I got released to go to the postpartum floor. The following is possibly my most favorite photo of all time...

Thank you, God, for allowing me to live so I could hold my new baby, hug his big brother, and realize that I am beyond blessed to be deeply loved by and be madly in love with my husband. 
~Cin

Jack Allen Strom

Friday, July 13, 2012

9 lbs, 1 oz

20" long